05 December, 2012

Coffee with me?

Coffee was a way to talk to all of you but i want to share my personal encounter with God,and my Testimony of Jesus being my Savior,my king,my love of Life.

I don’t know how to start but after reading the blog “Life of faith” I got the guts to share my life publicly and felt I must share openly and tell the world how I had fallen in love with my loving God.

Well, as a child and the teaching I got during childhood, and specially from my granny,I always used to constantly keep talking to Jesus even though I wasn’t knowing him much, but as a friend I shared things, I used to fight with him,laugh with him and shared my heart to him, Jesus knew me completely but I wasn’t knowing him much.

Real change in life took place after the death of my father in 2003,he had small tumour like dot in his head and it was not tumour,he has fallen unconscious when i was too small,may be in fourth std but after check up the reports came of dot in head and that there is no tumour and also he is normal and healthy after few days .Years passed and in 2003 he dies in Kerala was a shock for me,I was never before told that my dad was so serious and seriousness of his illness was never discussed in front of me at home  and also he was normal outside,i cannot think in my vast imagination that my father can die,suddenly my dad goes to Kerala and after 3 to 4 months,my mom told me that we have to go to Kerala,I was absolutely not in a mood to go Kerala but finally my mom convinced me and when I went to Kerala, my dad’s dead body was in front of me ,it was real shocking,I didn’t cried the whole funeral, but my mind started asking too many question to God, and seeing my dad’s body first time,I started telling Jesus,you have raised Lazarus!raise my dad too !with little faith how will my dad be raised. My God can raise dead I believe, but I was in 11th std and the faith I had was too less to raise a dead!!!

Now I started telling my close friend Linet that I am the unluckiest person on earth and she kept on telling that’s not the thing and she was right too, there are many children who loose their parents, both mom and dad and become Orphans, at least I have my mom with me.

My telling that I am the unluckiest was for some other reason which I never shared with any, not even to Linet,I got the guts to share the real thing to her, may be 4 years back,don’t  remember the exact time.I was not confident whether anyone will accept me once i share this made me keep quiet.

It was the diseases of my mother that made my life horrible but also this was the time I got to know love of Christ for me.My mom is suffering from the diseases where her mind speaks and she can hear voices,and she replies to what she listen and her behaviour towards me was exactly what she listen and what that voices came to her mind,i got to know about this diseases in 2010 in Jubilee, a program i went,when few aunties saw my mom behaving abnormally and shouting loudly so they came and asked me personally and they explained me that this is a diseases,I told one sister recently and she also told and explained about this diseases in detail that there are people who under extremes mental pressure lose control on their mind and their mind start producing liquid which make them hear voices,voice can be anything and everything and they become very violent if we don’t behave according to them.

I as a child was not able to understand what my mom went through when she lost her husband and at the time of my Father’s death my sister was at her peak age to get married, all tension came on my mom and emotionally she didn’t get any support from anywhere, and this was the time when she lost her mind.

Now in the year 2005 my sister got married, she also has experienced my mom’s abnormal behaviour,but me and my sister somehow manged together but after my sister got married it was me and my mom alone which was time I experienced love of God and his saving graces.

I had all ill feeling,unforgiveness and always felt my mom is mad and why I am kept under her like prison God,!Every new morning some question would come up from my mom's mind and she keeps accusing me for faults I never did,one fine morning she said" Anu tell me who is Vishal! I know Anu,I can hear your heart voice  that you have an affair with Vishal! I don’t know Vishal named person in my life and no one in my friend with this name too,Such shocks I used to get ,daily it was new shock to me..i was not allowed to participate in programs much,my friend got permission from there parents but for me  it was most of time no,which gave me lot of pain for losings many opportunity in such ways.But my loving dad(GOD) blessed me to know her pain and Abba Father(my dadu)taught me forgiveness daily, taught me to love her back and to understand her pain.

She gets violent if I won’t listen to her and if I go against her absolute senseless decisions.She used to tell me not to talk to people to maintain distance because of what she heard about them in voices in mind due to which if she sees me talking to them,even if they come upfrontly she feels that they came and talk with me because  i am talking to them from heart to heart and in such ways i used to get in trouble because she thinks all can listen and talk like her.

Many more different ways she used to behave with me but I don’t want to list them all,I know one thing that all that she did was because of illness and all what she did will be forgiven by God but what if me with all my senses don’t forgive her, which was taught by my ever loving God.
 
Well well,I don't have a great job,nor am a big personality,but yes in all my lonely life it was HE alone who constantly loved me,and was there and gave me love and his peace and I could smile all time with the peaceful heart ! I realised I have a person to be called my own who love me very much and has suffered and given everything for me being a God.

I started enjoying my life in midst of all pain this is what my God can do,HE healed me completely! I wanted to share this to all that how my God has given me such a beautiful life,friends who love me truly and mom being not well loves me a lot!

My mom still not well but has improved a lot than before and behaves normal in front of others at least.Life is indeed beautiful after knowing my creator and how he manages me who is not perfect that too daily,i couldn’t write properly my witness to Christ but I really want to glorify his name fully all my life for making me free for all worries with his love.

O No! Coffee with me was too long Right? ha ha ha

Dinner time I think ,thank you all for having Coffee with me.If you carry a witness then do share it with me too.

Blessings !



20 comments:

  1. Anu, what a great testimony! You have such a sweet attitude even in all that you have been through! That is very glorifying to God as He has carried you through the rough times in your life and healed you from your hurts. I am humbled to be your inspiration in sharing your testimony! Keep on loving and shining for Jesus!
    -Faith
    http://the-life-of-faith.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Am so happy you read my testimony..i was really moved by your life testimony and thought not to hide things about my life..and share the love i got from God which is free for all who seek him..I know by you posts that you are pregnant...May God bless you with very beautiful child who will follow your step of glorifying God..keep Rocking with Christ..you are beautiful child of God..Blessings and Love!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Being your friend its a very big thing to tell, maybe i don't understand your terms and religion but wish you my friend Anudi, I know how pure you are and one of the best people I ever met on earth always be what you are, may God bless you and may God always be your support in your deeds. Your mom loves you , give her none the less. I believe Mom is the biggest love on earth whatever she is and however she is none less than a God.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for the blessings and the kind words..Neel..May God bless you with lot of happiness in your life and give a life full of love and Joy,have a blessed day.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fancy Mary Victor9 February 2013 at 12:50

    Hellows..Anu chechi..this is Fancy from Rosary Parish(BARODA)..i guess u dont know me..bt reading ur testimony...my faith is increasing...and beginning i felt sad...bt then god started doing wonders..we dont knw whn wonders and happiness cum..its all through our ABBA FATHER...we should always Praise and Glorify our God's name..for all d wonderful miracles he is doing in our lves..he does daily..but we humans sometimes forget..and but..v r not supposed to forget.always..Praise God...and yes He is a living GOD..MAY GOD BLESS U..AND MOTHER MARY BLESS U AND UR MOM TOOOO...

    ReplyDelete
  6. i am so happy my dear Fancy that your faith increased,this is a great gift for me,thank you for taking time to read it...ANd you said true when God do wonders we never got to know,we can only rely on his faithfulness as he is a faithful GOd.May god bless you too with immense love and joy,and may you glorify his name...all your life..Mother MARY INTERCESSION plays a vast role in my life...SHE IS MOST BEAUTIFUL MOM...
    Stay Blessed Fancy Dear!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anu, I stumbled upon this blog while googling the hobby of cardmaking. You are such a precious person. I know the Lord loves you so very much, Anu. Keep praying specific prayers for any and all needs you have and He will hear and answer them.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Laurie,you are precious too,no doubt in that,thank you for your kind word,God bless you with his love.Stay Blessed!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anu,
    First let me thank you for linking up with the Testimony Page (http://www.testimonypage.blogspot.com). I am praying for your Mom's health and for you, dear one, that God continues to bring godly people around you for support and love and prayer.
    May Our Heavenly Father continue to bless you and keep you,
    Felecia

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks Dear,its a great blessing to have good people around me always encouraging and loving,Thank you so much for keeping my mom in prayer,God bless and keep rocking with Christ our cute Father!Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anu,

    I came here from Imperfect Prose and stumbled on your post. So glad I could share a cup of coffee with you! Thank you for giving us this glimpse into your life. That's the great thing about the blogosphere.....God gives us each other to lift up and encourage when things are difficult. Keep sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey Brenna,am so glad you had a cup of coffee with me,and you said true God has blessed us with each other to lift up and encourage when one goes weak.God bless you dear.If you share a testimony do share with me too!Enjoy life with Our Most HIGH.Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  13. thank you so much for having coffee with me, friend. i ache for the hard journey you've gone through, and pray life will get easier. bless you. e.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You are welcome Emily dear.God bless you and thank you for your precious prayers.God bless!Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Where do i start from i dont know.
    The way u have written from the beginning to the end it may be in a simplified WORDS, and readers like me would have brought words to you by saying that they feel sad abt it, some would have shown the sympathy towards you, i can just feel the pain that you could have been gone through such a time and still continues,,,...
    Anu you have just written the out page of what you might have gone through,.. Inside pain still residing in your heart and in your mind,.. We Christians Says "Jesus the Savior of the World".. Some of them Says "Everything Happens for Good" - But i Would Say "You are the Son of your Late Father A Daughter of your Mother and Friend to Christ.... "Adorable, Responsible, Courageous Anu... A Girl with Guts, humble and Soft,... I wont say God Bless to Girl "WHO IS ALREADY BLESSED" Thank you so much for sending me the link for me to read and realize as human factors always feels that their problems are bigger then others, you made me understood that my problems are not that bigger what others are going through.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks for the encouragement!God bless

    ReplyDelete
  17. This is a challenge to everyone. You've made it clear with your testimony that whether we choose to forgive or not makes all the difference.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Praise the Lord.... Wonderful testimony didi...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks dear..all glory to God...

      Delete